Imagine you live a life with many problems. Situational problems. Things that you know the solution to. Issues that could be solved because there definitely is a way to solve them. Now imagine that the solutions are completely unobtainable due to your status in life and forces well beyond your control. Multiply this feeling by many years of life. Nearly two decades. How does it make you feel? Irritated? Frustrated? Miserable? Hopeless? All of the above? They say that knowledge is power but it really isn’t. Knowledge is misery and absolutely useless without the right resources to be able to use it to your advantage.

Case One:

I know that since all of my books are self published the best way to find any sort of success is marketing. I know where to market and how to market. However, I don’t have the money for any sort of marketing campaign that will make a difference in sales. Knowlegde is not power. It’s misery.

Case Two:

I live with chronic pain due to a pack injury I sustained in 2017 at work. I take anywhere between 2000-4000mg of Tylenol a day. I cannot take NSAIDs due to medical concerns of stomach ulcers and bleeding. Which would be very dangerous for me. I know that Percocet (one pill for 8 hours) will help control the pain better then 4000mgs of Tylenol ever does, because I’ve had percocet. Doctors won’t give it to me based on the idea that I might get addicted. I’m being punished for things other people have done with no proof I will do them myself. Knowledge is not power. It’s misery.

Case Three:

One of the best ways to find success as a writer (especially a screenwriter) which is something I am also trying to accomplish, is to network. One of the best places to network are major cities. New York and L.A specifically. I know that moving to either of these locations will not guarantee success. However, I also know that being in the city I am now gives me zero chance of networking or making the connections I need to make because the opportunites aren’t there. I also know based on my financial circumstances I will never be able to relocate. Knowledge is not power. It’s misery.

Case Four:

Over many years I learned how to use the film editing program Final Cut Pro. Though I am not an expert at it I am very well versed in how to use it well enough to make professional quality videos. I also know that I no longer have access to the program and I will never be able to afford the hardware and software I need to get access back to the program because I will never have the money. Knowledge is not power. It’s misery.

Case Five:

Over the years with how many novels I’ve written, videos I’ve created, and screenplays I’ve finished I am aware that I have potential. I’m not a one trick pony. I am full of many different ideas and stories in multiple genres of writing. However, none of this is ever going to mean anything without being able to take the next step. I do not have the means or ability to invest in even a decent camera to create my own short horror film. Even if I could afford the camera, as I pointed out, I can’t afford the editing equipment. Knowledge is not power. It’s misery.

I know what you may be thinking because I hear it all the time. That I’m being too negative. That if I really want these things I should just save my money. That there are ways to get these things and to never give up hope. Yeah, that’s not true. Save your worthless platitudes for someone who hasn’t been trying every single avenue she can think of for the last 15 years to make something work. I’m not sitting here doing nothing and complaining that these things will never happen. I’ve done the work. I’ve done the research.

Not only do I currently have multiple complete novels for sale (and three of them are a trilogy) and two finished screenplays, but I have learned film editing to a professional standard, by myself. I learned screenwriting by myself. I learned book cover design by myself. I learned social media (to a point) where I somehow got 8K followers on Twitter. By myself. Do not presume to tell me I am not doing anything at all and crying “woe is me” because nothing is working out.

Do you know how many nights I sit on my computer and research how maybe I could relocate to California on my non-existent budget? Do you know how many nights I sit on my computer and research better marketing techniques and hashtags to use on social media to get new followers and engagement? Do you know how hard I’ve tried to follow every tiny bit of advice given to attract people to my social media? Do you know how long and hard I’ve worked to try to figure all of these things out only to come to a dead end each and every single time? This isn’t about being unwilling to try. This isn’t about being negative. This is about being realistic. This is about following every last bit of advice I can follow and still not getting where I need.

So imagine a world where there is a cure for cancer. However, no insurance anywhere covers it. It costs 2 million dollars, out of pocket, but not only that you also need to know the right people in order to get this cure. Now realize that you are living in poverty, in a neighborhood where people get shot outside of your front door. You barely make enough to afford food every month and because of the city you live in you will never even have a chance at meeting the people who can get you to the cure. Let alone the money. At this point, there would be no lack of you wanting it, no lack of you trying to get it, but when the cure to your life, happiness, and wellbeing lays in the hands of people you can’t control and literally do not give a shit about you, what else do you have left other than to give up and waste away until the clock inevitbly runs out? You don’t. That is exactly why Knowledge is not power. It’s misery.